am i alone now? well, i guess it's what i wanted,
and even more important it's what everyone deserves2.
don't come near me. even my mama says she fears me,
can i dig myself out of this hole in the earth?
i'm entrenched in the drugs and the cyclical lack thereof,
caught between the 'who' i'm made to be and the 'what' i have become
it's all water on the bridge swept underneath the rug,
i'm banging on the door but i'm not sure if it will ever open up.
i know you love me with blood by the gallon that forgives.
but i don't want an ounce of it, i deserve all the consequences.
i'm losing everyone, sick and tired all the time.
just wanna throw myself away into that all-consuming fire
& burn bright, never smolder. live a new life without the stacks on my shoulders,
pave a different kind of road- one i can't walk on my own- before i'm any older.
i can't stay here. will i always be so sorry
to the people i can't say i'm sorry to?
i can't stand it. to be the liar and the bandit,
it ends up stealing each and every part of you.
all good times and all redemption, every story,
every mention of your name sees your good intentions atrophy.
i stand straight up in the crossfire, wrap my body in the trip wires,
i lay every sword and rifle at your feet, i just wish i could hear you speak.
i know you're trying to be as honest as you can
without giving up your plans, i know that all my worry is irrelevant.
our stars are lining up, when you stop looking you'll see the string
running back and forth between every moment and every thing,
so burn bright, never smolder. live a new life without the stacks on your shoulders,
pave a different kind of road- one you can't walk on your own- before you're any older.
I wanna burn bright, never smolder. live a new life without the stacks on my shoulders,
pave a different kind of road- one i can't walk on my own- before i'm any older.
the right words dammed in my throat
most times when i speak, think i'd be better off to choke.
most times when i fear, think it might do me good to trust,
rip out all my parasites & shake off all my dust.
give me a heart of gold
send me to amend all the lies i have told,
give me a deathless soul
to tell me you love me, i have always known.
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